He's popped the question. You've chosen a date. And now, you're swimming in a sea of euphoria with no horizons. Good thing, because there are literally a thousand things to arrange before the big day.

You do the research, buckle under and dive in. But you find your fiancé's ardor for the event itself seems to have cooled. It's not that he isn't mad about marrying you; after all, he is a great guy, even if he can't tell a Vera Wang from a Gunny Sack. It's that his preparation style is hands-off, to say the least. Planning a wedding isn't a job for one.

So what to do? Here are ten ways to involve him without increasing both of your stress loads:

1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him.

The worst thing you can do is expect him to match your ten to twenty years of feminine wisdom on the relative merits of buttercream vs. fondant.

Here are some probable no areas when roping in a reluctant wedding planner:

* Selecting the cake frosting
* Choosing the favors or favor packaging
* Selecting the wedding colors or floral arrangements

Then there are the potential maybes, fraught with fewer hazards:

* Choosing the photographer
* Choosing the videographer
* Arranging the rehearsal dinner
* Arranging the all-inclusive honeymoon
* Renting big, tricky items like outdoor tents

These are probable yeses, well worth running by your guy:

* Selecting the DJ or the band
* Setting up and maintaining your wedding website
* Researching and selecting charities to donate instead of favors
* Setting up the carriage, limo or other transportation arrangements

2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors and styles, narrow down the choices first.

It's a jungle of options out there, enough to give the most natural-born party planner pause. So if you want his opinion on photographers, invites, flowers or cakes, narrow down the options to three or four. He's less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of the process.

At times, it'll feel so good to share the load that you'll be tempted to drag him into the buttercream debate despite your better instincts. At these times, take a deep breath, count to ten, and call your mother or your maid of honor.

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